Basically a dead person
Forgot about snl again
Cracked my iphone
Left a movie early to drive 45 mins to the ghetto with Morgan for midnight bingo only to find out it was canceled
Wrecked my car (launched into a gas pump)
Shut my finger in the dryer door
Broke the heat in my car (pre-wreck)
Got attacked by a goose while other geese watched from the roof
I downloaded this app called voxer or something and anyway, Morgan and I decided to send our friend Chelsey a little message expressing our feelings about her absence. Super proud.
I had my annual thanksgiving dinner yesterday. We’ve been doing it for about 3 or 4 years. I go Aldi and spend about $20 on potatoes, turkey and green beans and whatever else seems “right” and then I make food for everyone. It’s cool, especially since I can’t cook for shit and every year it’s kind of like a total Bon Jovi “living on a prayer” experience with the food/cleaning the house/my dogs attacking everyone.
I cook my turkey every year breast down (dirty!) in a bag. I throw like two sticks of butter in with it and forget about it. It tastes pretty good though. My potatoes are what I’m really proud of. I don’t use milk, I just put a tub of sour cream in with them and a thing of cream cheese. Everyone kept telling me that they were better than their moms (but I bet they wouldn’t tell them that). I also made stuffing and green beans.
Sam and liz showed up first. Liz brought two pies (pumpkin and some dank ass cheesecake pie thing. I guess I say “dank ass” now) and macaroni casserole.
Lydia and Justin came next and they brought ice cream and those cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster.
Paul brought Mt. Dew.
Jon and Felicia came and ate, but they didn’t bring anything. It’s cool. Danny brought chips and dips. How many people is that? 9? That’s basically the whole town. That’s how good my shit is, the whole town came.
I’m super proud of how good my house looked. It never, ever gets cleaned, so when it does, I’m glad people get to see it. It’s like when I can finally blow smoke rings in front of people. It’s like “I told you!”, you know?
This is my living room/dining room upstairs. Clean.
It’s never clean. I watched the 4 or 5 thanksgiving episodes of Roseanne on youtube while I preparing everything and smoked a lot.
My interns dressed up and helped a lot.
This is a small section of the set up I had. Danny’s chips and dips. That thing on the right is a bun warmer from the 70’s. I know!
After dinner, we went downstairs and laid on the floor/couch and watched family feud and played a game where you had to get up without using your arms.
I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving and I also hope Justin and Selena work things out :(
IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING IF TAYLOR SWIFT IS A BITCH OR NOT
this should clear things up